Parents react to kids coming to them with problems. This is an image of a father with an extreme expression.

How Do You Roll?

I was talking to one of my daughters the other day and she was sharing with me that she needed to talk about a problem she had. I said, “I would love to help. That’s how I roll!” She said clearly and confidently, “I know.” It got me to thinking about how important it is for our children, young or old, to have confidence in how we will react to their requests or issues.

If you are a helicopter parent, meaning you always save them. Your child may think, “I don’t have to take responsibility of X because my parent will take care of it. It is how my parent rolls.” If you are a drill sergeant parent, the child may hide things from you and rebel instead of honestly and openly coming to you with problems – or perhaps they create problems just to get back at you for not sharing control with them. If you are a consultant parent, most likely your child is clear that any problem they create is their problem, and no matter what, you are there to support them.

My goal for this year, and actually every year since I learned about the different types of parents, is to be a consultant parent. The key thing is to hand the problem back to the child in a calm way and to allow natural consequences to teach them.

I love that by being a consultant parent or at least trying to be, I have sent the message that I am open and available to my daughters. Thanks Love and Logic®!

Here are two handouts outlining the types of parents and discussing how to hand problems back to kids. I hope you find them helpful!

So how do you roll?

What do your children expect from you?

 

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