Have you ever experience a lack of motivation to adjust your parenting strategy? Have you ever just been fed up? Is there any hope/point to working on this relationship with my child/step-child?
Legitimate Parenting Concerns
Overcome them. It’s worth it.
Parenting Story #1
In the book “Cure for the Common Life” Max Lucado shares a story of Ulrich Zwingli. Zwingli promoted unity during Europe’s great Reformation. At one point he found himself at odds with Martin Luther. He was struggling to know how to handle the conflict and more so, know how to resolve his internal desire to push away from Luther. He found his answer one day while hiking on a Swiss mountain. He watched two goats traversing a narrow path from opposite directions, one ascending, and the other descending. At one point the narrow trail prevented them from passing each other. When they saw each other they backed up and lowered their heads, ready to lunge. But a wonderful thing happened. The ascending goat lay down on the path. The other stepped over his back. The first animal then arose and continued his climb to the top. Zwingli observed that the goat made it higher because he was willing to bend lower.
Parenting Story #2
I recently was talking with a parent about some homework I had given. It was to go for ice cream two times over their vacation with her stepson. Ice cream is sort of a bonding agent. Great, right! She admitted that she simply did not want to do the bonding homework. She just didn’t FEEL like connecting to her stepson, there were too many hard feelings. But because she KNEW it was the best thing, she tried. She set her feelings of discontent aside and did the homework.
It was not easy. Her teenage stepson did everything possible to not connect with her over their vacation. But as she kept inviting him to go for ice cream, by the end of the week, they had connected two times. She was amazed at they difference the first connection made, mainly that the next time she asked, he accepted. Was their relationship healed? Not yet, but it is going the right direction.
Great parents at times lower themselves so that their family will ascend higher.
Here are some good resources for great parenting from from Love and Logic®: