Does Parenting Education (Classes, Coaching, Love and Logic, etc…) Help Parents of Teenagers?
This wonderful mom struggled with having a life of her own. After being divorced for 5 years, she had met a nice man and wanted to introduce him to her son. But this, as with everything else was a power struggle. The son made it clear that if she brought this man into their home it would completely devastate him and end their relationship once and for all.
Well, we worked for two sessions learning about the Love and Logic® tools of:
Consequences, specially removing the parent
Then I got a great report:
“I did what we talked about; I offered a lot of choices about if my son wanted to be at home when my friend came over and also choices about everything else. I love sharing control with him; he really seems to like it too. He does say I am weird asking all those questions.
I also used the enforceable statements a ton too, like ‘I will be happy to bring you to soccer when the dishwasher is emptied.’
Then the day eventually came when my friend came over to help me clean the garage. I gave my son a choice about if he wanted to be at home or not, he chose to be gone. I drove him to his friend’s house. Later, he called and asked if he could come home and watch the football game and I said sure. My friend and I are cleaning the garage, your decision if you want to say hello or not, we will be in the garage.’ Much to my surprise he came into the garage and introduced himself to my friend. Later that night I thanked him for being so polite to my friend and he said a profound statement, ‘I just needed it to be on my terms.’”
Wow, this is the essence of the Love and Logic tools! This kid thought all the limits his mom gave him over the past two weeks were on his terms. The verdict: Choices and Enforceable Statements are golden for teenagers!
Related Post: Parenting Styles – What are they?
Related Post: Disrespect – How do you Handle it?